As most of you know, I’ve been a Vampire Girl since I don’t know when… people were definitely into Disco and wearing polyester, and my parents dressed me in hideous plaid jeans outfits that may be the reason I’m in therapy to this day. But I’ve never really pulled together one cohesive, all-encompassing thesis as to WHY I find them so hot. Is it because my first vampires included Anne Rice’s literary walking sex monsters, Frank Langella on the big screen, and Michael Nouri on the small? Could be.
Here’s a list of 13 things I love about my favorite monsters (the love that even survived those fangless, sparkling weenies that I couldn’t get away from for years! Sorry, Twilight fans):
1. Longevity: There’s something incredibly attractive about a being that has or can live for a very long time. Imagine the things s/he’s seen, the thing s/he knows.
2. Sex: Sort of related to the above. Assuming he’s not a monk vampire, he’s probably gotten around, been through all kinds of sexual eras. In other words, a sexy vampire who’s been around got skills!
3. Style: Every vampire’s got a different one, but they always seem to be cool. Whether you like them in skin-tight leather pants and a swirling duster, or 18th century velvet and silk ruffles…. mmm.
4. Strength: Look, I’m a big girl, okay? And the idea that my love interest can pick me up like a purse-sized dog and fly or jump 10 stories or whatever is just… hot.
5. Speed/Agility: I have a superhero power thing, but I’m not much for your standard superheroes. I like them dark, angsty, and dangerous. Vampires fill the bill.
6. Politics: I hate real life politics, I love the crazy, deadly vampire politics thing. It’s like a royal court mixed with a rabid wolf pack. That’s so cool.
7. The Night Thing: I’m a night person (although that’s changing a little as I get older. I’m nodding off around 10 pm these days, although I’ll stay up until the wee hours for a good book!). I like a man who likes that nocturnal lifestyle.
8. Leashed Danger: We all love those bad boys — at least in our fiction. A vampire, like his werewolf “cousin,” can be the height of danger, the baddest of the bad, but if he luuuuuurves you, well… he’ll keep himself mostly in check. Unless you ask nice or push his buttons. *purr*
9. Unleashed Danger: The other side of that coin is that he can rip your enemies to shreds. That is not only handy in a battle… but HOT. Damn, I have issues.
10. Mystery: Where do they come from? How did they get to be the way they are? What have they seen, done, and heard? How does it feel to be a vampire? They are utterly alien, and yet still human enough for us to relate to (usually — some great horror vampires are completely inhuman).
11. Wisdom/Knowledge: Just the ability to have enough time to learn anything you could possibly want — to READ all those books on your TBR. That is a huge turn-on. I love those vampires who can speak ten languages and do quadratic equations while giving you the orgasm of your live with methods learned in the Kama Sutra. You know the ones. 😉
12. The Power Possibilities: Depending on who your vampire writer is, the vamp can have pretty much any possible ability you can imagine. Read minds? Sure. Telekinesis? Why not? Flight? Magick? Turn your newspaper into a pizza? You got it. You can’t beat that in a man.
13. The Neck Thing: Okay, I’ll confess, I have a neck thing in general, and that vampire bite fetish in particular. Would I want to run into a throat-hungry vamp in real life? Probably not. But when it comes to my fantasy world? Yeah, I’m okay with that particular kink.
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